sometimes plans change

Hello, so since I last talked to you properly over a month ago a few more things have changed in my life. It's been stressful to say the least, because of that I have been sick in bed for a while now with no voice. It's frustrating but at least it means I get some time to write this and update you all. 

So biggest thing first: I have dropped out of my course at uni. Yep! You read that right! I thought Visual Merchandising was where I was meant to be in life, my ultimate subject, but unfortunately it didn't really turn out that way. It's still a bit sad to me, I never thought I would quit something so quickly without looking back. Long story long, one of my friends in my course bought up the fact that she was thinking about dropping out. At that stage I was pretty shocked because even though I wasn't really 'enjoying' the course, I hadn't even thought of genuinely stopping it. I had been doing it for just under 2 months and never really felt inspired by the content or the environment and decided after learning what a Visual Merchandiser actually does that it's not right for me or the path I want to be heading down. Half of me was like - you're impatient and pathetic, the course is only 18 months just stick it out! Then the other half was like - the census date is a week away, if you drop out now you don't have to pay anything (bear in mind I was paying extra because I am not a local student) and you can just start a different course or come up with a plan. Luckily the day I started thinking about this was the day my Mum came over to visit me so I was able to tell her and talk through it with her, then FaceTime my Dad too to ask for his advice. (slight tangent that will relate later: the class I did enjoy most from my course was the graphic design class.) Both of my parents are graphic designers so knew how I was feeling in relation to my career path and how uninspired I was. Luckily everyone I talked to was so supportive of me no matter the decision, so it was up to me in the end. Which scared me a bit too much. 

Obviously, in the end, I decided to drop out of the course. I feel no regret around my decision and even people like my traditional-minded grandparents were supportive. The thing I was most sad about was leaving my group of friends I had made - we enjoyed walking around the city in our breaks and complaining about the 8:30am starts. I am lucky enough to be able to stay here in Melbourne (I am definitely not going back to NZ for a long while) so I have no doubt that I will stay in close contact with them.

So what's next? Well in relation to that random tangent from earlier, I think I want to do Communication Design (Graphic Design). This made my parents very happy when I told them because obviously I will be following the family path - exactly what I didn't want to do. But now I do realise that it's something I am always doing and thinking about unconsciously whether I like it or not. And, I had a think about what I actually see myself doing in the future and realised that I would really love to be an Art/Creative Director. Who knows, my mind may change over the next few months but there's no harm in that. I'm happy with what's happened and I was totally overthinking it (as usual).

Well, that's my life update! I'm still breathing (barely, only through my mouth lol) and enjoying the weather now it's not 30 degrees everyday. Thank you guys who are still here reading my blog, I literally don't know why because it feels so dead but thank you anyway!! Like I always say, I am over here planning and making stuff that I don't know will ever get published but hey, it's still happening! Seriously so so thankful for you all. Bye for now!