It feels much longer than it’s actually been. Not even a month, yet I feel like everything has been flipped upside down: so many things have changed, I almost can’t keep up. I don’t feel like I have been in control, I’m being inspired by different things, I have new viewpoints… I’m ready to change.
I think it was this weird combination of misdirection: being excited about finding new creatives and getting new ideas and inspiration but not having the ability to materialise those visions. Also having that doubt: do people even care about what I document anyway?
It’s moments like these when you know you've hit a creative block: when you have to take a step back and really think about what is actually going on. Am I happy with the way my life is right now? Why or why not and why is that so important to me anyway? Why did I start this whole blogging thing in the first place? And that’s where you get answers: when you find out what you really enjoy about it and go right back to the foundations.
I started my blog because I wanted to share my interests with the world, or whoever would listen. I wanted to find that connection with just one other person so that we could have something in common. I wanted to document and inspire and use my blog as a creative outlet, where I could ‘escape’. I get off track sometimes and forget the simple reason I started.
I took a small break to think about this a bit more: because I have only realised now that it’s much deeper than just my blog. I leave school next year, and I can’t honestly comprehend how much of a change that’s going to be for me. School is all I have ever consciously known and it’s no longer an option. I’m so invested in my blog that I really do wish I could make it a job. So my brain has combined these two intense situations and put them together to create a big mess of overwhelming doubt, worry, anxiety and confusion.
Although it’s definitely always going to be there, I have pushed all the doubt to the side and realised that as long as I’m doing what I love all throughout my life and it’s making me happy, then that’s good enough for me and it should be for everyone else.
It’s change: it happens. I’m a teen: I change. Through that little survey I found that the majority of you are teens too… how do you deal with change? Do you love it or loathe it?
I hope you're all still here (sorry) so we can kind of work our way through this together? I have ideas and things I would love to share with you all - I will leave you with one of my new favourite quotes.